By Rochelle E. Brenner
Every month, we will share a motivational parenting segment on this blog to encourage martial arts families. This new feature is being shared with thousands of families out of a growing need to give parents the supports they need as they navigate the stresses of raising their children.
Since it is a New Year, this first edition is focused on setting smart parenting goals. Unfortunately, our role as parents cannot be connected to outcomes. Meaning, we are not good parents based on whether our children get straight A’s or get into a good college or avoid jail. We are good parents if we make daily efforts to honor who they are, teach respect, show grit and build their confidence to pursue their goals. In other words, we can only set goals based on our actions, not theirs. Many times when children quit, it’s actually their parents who quit on them first. Here is a modified checklist for setting smart goals for our parenting.
S - Specific. Talk to your child about their day every single night.
M - Measurable. Sit down for at least one meal – or snack – a day with your child.
A - Achievable. Ask your child to set a goal that you can help hold them accountable for.
R - Realistic. Making the Olympics is not realistic for most kids. Attending karate class 2-3 x a week is realistic.
T - Timely. Set a goal that expires after 1 to 3 months, then set a new one. Example, push-ups month one, Healthy eating goal month two, next karate belt etc.
Do not waver or fall back on your commitment to these goals. Do not let your children quit on these goals. It can be hard as a parent to enforce rules, but it’s important that when you set goals for your parenting, you live up to the standard.